I’m Back in Control - My 2021 Planner

Two weeks into 2021 and all is going well with my new planner. Setting it up was as much an act of hope as it was resolve, given that one day in the last ten months has been much like the one before. I have high hopes for this year and I need a place to memorialize and track them. It’s a way of not giving in to numbing sameness.

I’m not using a Bullet Journal. I tried that and loved it — more accurately, I loved the idea of it. A blank canvas waiting to embrace my limitless creativity proved an invitation too sweet to resist. I grew heady with the idea of a journal I could make into a visual wonder. I visited an art supply store and could hardly carry away my bag filled with markers, pens, stickers, wash tape, and stencils. 

Finally, the freedom to create a planner the way I wanted rather than trying to fit the dreams and record of my life into someone else’s format! 

I looked to Pinterest for inspiration in putting my first Bullet Journal together and maybe that was my mistake. The journals I saw were museum-worthy works of art. I couldn’t wait to get started. I opened my blank journal and began to create. From the very first mark I made on the very first page, I sand into an abyss of frustration and remorse. I had no hope of making anything as beautiful as the Bullet Journals I had admired. 

I didn’t give up, though. Instead, I exhausted myself for almost a year trying to make a Bullet Journal I liked. I would say any improvements I made landed in the minuscule range. It was enough to keep me going, but one after another exquisite specimen online taunted me as I tried to replicate them and failed. 

And then I hated my Bullet Journal. Not the philosophy behind it, designed to simplify planning and keeping track. That’s very helpful. 

I couldn’t shake the creeping anxiety that arose during the last few days of every month when it was time to set up my Bullet Journal for the next few weeks. I froze when I faced another set of blank pages begging for a lovely design I couldn’t give them. When composition and calligraphy overtook the life I was trying to plan and track, I had to make a change. I couldn’t take any more punishment from an exercise that was supposed to be fun. 

Late in the year I abandoned my Bullet Journal and resorted to keeping lists on pieces of paper to stay organized. 

It took me a minute, but I found another planner. With a balance between formatted and not, I can finally relax and stay focused. I have the right amount of room for a admin a bit of design to my days. I’m happy again.

It took me a minute, but I found another planner. With a balance between formatted and not, I can finally relax and stay focused. I have the right amount of room for my own designs on my days. I’m happy again.